I am by no means an expert on networking, nor am I proclaiming myself to have never fallen victim to the bad networking experience, however, I do believe there are some absolute no no’s when it comes to networking. I have been running the Twin Cities Thursday Happy Hours networking group for just under a year and the best thing I have learned in doing this, is how NOT to network.

My idea to start the group stemmed from my own bad experiences at other networking events, thus giving me the motivation to have a group that fit the culture of what I would want a networking event to be like. Yesterday, I came across a great networking column from Bradley Will, titled The Top 3 Questions You Could Ever Ask at a Networking Event, which re-emphasized to me that people who are great at networking, truly have a passion to help others and the relationships that are built is what matters; not what you do, or what you sell.

With that being said, here are my personal nominations of 5 things not to do at networking events.

1. Do not have a canned elevator speech.
Give me a minute and hear me out on this one, because I know there will be some that might argue this. I think that to truly build positive business relationships, you need to be yourself, which I believe is often lost in the 30 second elevator “pitch”. If you ask genuine questions and do not try to sell yourself through how great you and your product are, your personality will shine through. In my experience, 99.9 percent of buying decisions are made if someone  knows, likes and trusts you, which can fade away in the elevator.

2. Never speak negatively of others.
Human nature fights with us on this no no, because we are all naturally judgmental beings. It is impossible to always be nice and speak highly of everyone you meet and know, so be careful in different situations. At a networking function, you never know who you will meet or the connections they may have, so use your words wisely. I once was at a TCTHH event of mine and a gentleman was on a non-stop rant degrading a certain industry, little did he know, that was the industry that I worked in. When it comes to how you present and carry yourself, people do remember, the bad thing is that they remember the negatives way more often than the positives.

3. Don’t Talk About Yourself.
This is an easy one, if you are looking to meet new people, learn about them and what they do, do not put yourself on the podium to be the center of attention. Remember, truly great networking relationships are formed by knowing how you can help others and identifying opportunities for them, not yourself. The better you are at listening, the less you will need to talk about yourself. At the end of the day, if you care about what the other person is looking for, you will be remembered for helping them connect.

4.Don’t be glued to the people you go to events with.
Since the point of going to a networking event, hopefully, is for you to make new connections and branch out from the people you know, do not stay with the people you came with at the event. If may be hard for you at first to feel comfortable in a room full of strangers, but everyone else is probably thinking the same thing you are. Do your research before you go to an event, if there is someone you know will be there that you would like to meet outside your network, figure out a way to get introduced to them. If you know something about the people that will be at certain events, you will be in a strong position to ask them intriguing questions, then just shut up and listen. One pointer for you when branching out: be aware of the group you are approaching, if they are closed off and in private conversation, do not interrupt. Find other people that want to meet you and have the confidence of the person organizing the event when meeting new folks. After all, everyone is there to build stronger business relationships, so make it fun and don’t be afraid to fail at it.  If you put your genuine self out there it is impossible to fail.

5. Don’t be the person who has too many drinks or stains their shirt.
Networking events often are attractive to people to attend because of the free food and drinks, not so much to make connections or to learn something new. Please do not be the person that only goes to an event because there is free food or because you can let loose at a happy hour. Happy hours are a great, casual environment to network, but remember, you are building business relationships. You are representing yourself, your colleagues and in some cases an entire brand, so be aware that it isn’t a college frat party or the Old Country Buffet you are at, but rather a place to be interesting to others that will want to help you down the road. Would you want to do business with someone that you saw lick BBQ sauce off their fingers?

Since this is an open conversation, I would be interested in hearing what other no no’s of networking you would add to this list? Please share your thoughts.